Accommodation Is Not a Shield From Criticism
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A new study published in the Journal of Theoretical Psychology finds that accommodation — the ability to find ways to make changes in one’s life that are socially acceptable — is not a shield against criticism. Rather it seems to be an important and useful mechanism for coping with the harsh realities of life.
When faced with life challenges of any sort, such as unemployment, divorce, or financial instability, people may resort to a series of different coping mechanisms to deal with the stress and anxiety. For example, people may seek out and seek advice from friends, relatives, and fellow workers, and many may seek out professional and religious counselling. In many cases the people who are most open to criticism themselves engage in one or more of the above-mentioned activities to deal with their problems.
In his book “The Paradox of Success,” Robert Cialdini explains that “when faced with a problem, people often use the same repertoire of strategies to cope with the challenge. The most basic one is to try to fix the problem. Second most common is to try to avoid the problem. More complex strategies include finding someone who will share your pain with you, seeking someone who will make you happy. Or, you can try to forget the problem. A combination of all these techniques is often used to try to turn a problem into something else. For example, a divorce can turn a marriage into a friendship. A failure can turn a career into a hobby. A setback at work can turn into a new job opportunity.”
In the case of accommodation, people use the method of “making oneself available” to the outside world to help to avoid being criticized. This often involves making changes to one’s behaviour, habits, and attitudes to make the world appear more palatable and comfortable for others. For example, Cialdini explains, “When faced with a problem, people often use the same repertoire of strategies to cope with the challenge. The most basic one is to try to fix the problem. Second most common is to try to avoid the problem. More complex strategies include finding someone who will share your pain with you, seeking someone who will make you happy. Or, you can try to forget the problem. A combination of all these techniques is often used to try to turn a problem into something else. For example, a divorce can turn a marriage into a friendship. A failure can turn a career
